[IHTTMBW] Chapter 3

In my past life, I lived my entire life with a rare disease. The disease could be cured. But I didn’t have the money to pay for the medical treatment.

My life was of a petit bourgeois (lower middle class.)

I was abandoned. I was sent to live with my relatives, and my cousins used to ask me, ‘Hey, when will your mom come?’ Since then, I had been a mere ‘petit bourgeois.’

I became shy and tried not to attract anyone’s attention. In all of that time, I had not wanted to be a burden to them.

As soon as I heard I had a rare disease, I began to regret all the past years that I was living under pressure. If I had known that I would die like this, I would have done anything that I wanted to do. I would make many friends and go out with many men. I would travel to a nearby place at least once because I didn’t have much money to travel a lot or go abroad. My mind was full of these regrets.

It was so awful that I was going to die.

I spent the days being short of breath, spitting blood, and having a burning feeling in my stomach, and not being able to endure ending up falling.

One day, when I opened my eyes, I saw Ante’s face. My past life is why I do not care about Ante’s unkindness—I got used to others’ unkindness.

As soon as I grew up, I tried to leave for another place to be independent. This is what I had already done in my past life. It would probably be easier for me, a princess, to try this again. In this second life, this cannot be a big deal.

Social position? Princess? These are worthless to me. Anyway, I was going to die. It’s just like a rare disease in my past life.

I clenched my tiny fists. I was determined to leave this palace before Euphil broke out in revolt.

No, I need to get permission to get out of here.

No, I don’t need anyone’s permission. I don’t care about the position!!! My future sons and daughters will never know I was a princess!!! I will speak out loud and leave this place.

‘You are the king, Euphil!’

After I proclaim this, I will leave for good.

For this…

I looked around and sighed in resignation.

Ante turned to me and looked at me as if she thought I was weird. I ignored this and started to toddle.

Yes, four years of my life went by quickly.

I had already become a five-year-old girl.

As you know, a five-year-old girl can walk as she likes. I mean, I can do and act like a human being now. Although I stammer a little, I can now speak my mind. I thought Ante couldn’t pinch my cheeks because I could speak. But the reality was different from what I thought.

I still remember what Ante said.

‘Princess, whatever you speak out is useless. Nobody listens to you.’

I knew this already. But saying that still hurt me deep inside.

I looked around the palace for the first time. I could not find any hope there. Nonetheless, this was the biggest house, more than any house where I had lived in my past life.

First, I started to investigate myself. Because the novel contains few descriptions of Myrthi, all that I knew about her was that she was a beautiful woman with purple-coloured eyes and small feet.

I was so surprised when I saw myself in the mirror. I saw myself as a doll. I felt like I became prettier as I became five years old. Ante harassed me less lately. Is my prettiness the reason why she’s harassing me less lately?

My hair was silver with pink shades, like a precious silver thread. I could see that I had purple eyes on chubby cheeks. I moved my head and then confirmed it was me. Surprisingly, I was so cute.

There was a room filled with mirrors on every side of the Princess’s palace. Those mirrors were old, broken, and rusty, but some parts were good enough to be used.

A tiny, pure child was looking back at me in the mirrors. I felt my heartbeat thump. I realised the meaning of the saying that the beautiful die young. 

Ante is not an ordinary person. Even though I had such a beautiful and adorable face, she continued to harass me. How couldn’t she feel the need to hug me?

I kept repeatedly praising myself as if trying to convince myself that this face was completely mine. While I was walking around, I kept poking my cheeks to check that this face belonged to me.

I felt my heartbeat.

Although I walked around for a long time, I was not able to find Ante. Around this time, she used to leave the palace. I did not know where she went since I could not follow her. Anyway, she is not here now.

‘Finally, I will go outside the palace today!’