[TKOSINM] 42 — But He Is My Grandson

“... You are not my grandson.”

The Great Kristen’s voice rang out loud and clear.

“...”

Noel’s eyes trembled. He was visibly shaken. To him, those words were the sharpest blow on his young, fragile heart. Later that day, William had blamed himself for being emotionally abusive – a fault of his paralysed rationality at that time. However, the distance between the two was already so wide that they could no longer face each other.

Instead of narrowing the gap between them, William decided to do what he could for Noel. Which was, ironically, a condition that Noel deemed to make his life more difficult. In order to inherit the Dukedom, Noel must marry a woman whom William approved of.

It was because William had learned that “they” were wary of Noel and were trying to harm him. He knew Noel’s capability. He was a fine and strong man, but there was one area he was not well-versed in. William, who was more familiar with this scheming nobility and had witnessed it, knew there were not many ways that “they” could get to Noel. But one way to bring him down was through a woman. To seduce him.

Thus, the only way William could protect Noel whilst maintaining their removed distance, was through this method.

William could not tell Noel about that because he had thought that Noel would not believe him. So, he tried to leave the impression in “their” eyes that he would not choose Noel to be his successor.

William deliberately ignored and rejected Noel, in order to maintain a certain distance to prove his validity. He placed a ridiculous and one-sided condition for Noel who so desperately wanted his grandfather’s approval: “Only if you marry the woman I approve of, will you be allowed to inherit the dukedom.” William’s plan was that he was going to connect Noel with a reliable woman that he could believe in later.

It was his plan to protect Noel in his own way. But before he could carry out this plan, Noel brought home a woman. It was Irene Chase, the first daughter of the Count Chase family.

William did not believe in Irene nor any agenda that she held. He thought that Irene must have approached Noel to be the Grand Duchess. So, if he turned away a few times from her, he thought that she would give up out of her own will. After all, that was as shallow a woman who was after a title would go. 

“Sir, I will be back tomorrow. Good night.” She spoke softly.

However, Irene continued to visit him. Nor did the girl advertise herself to him or even praise Noel, she simply looked at his back and then left. He also stubbornly only looked at the wall, but by his foresight he could see things like Irene’s movements through the window. He observed her as time went on.

As the days flew by, William also guessed that Irene did not approach Noel with any bad intentions. But nevertheless, he refused to acknowledge her.

Noel was young, so William thought that he should hold his future safe. He also wanted to do what he could not do for Noel when Noel was young.

However, William was aware in his mind that it was just his stubbornness. After looking at the wall for a long time, it became difficult to suddenly look back at her. Maybe that was why he just dragged the time. But his stubbornness hurt another person.

One day, the child who had been steadily visiting him did not come. He thought that Irene had finally given up. But at the same time, he pitied her.

He felt empty at that time, and he thought that maybe he might have looked back if Irene had hung in there a little longer.

But then, what he thought came true, the next day the child came back. He focused again on her courage, but today he could sense that the child was not the same as usual. At the lift of his finger, he felt like the child would collapse under an invisible weight. 

♔♔♔

         “Perhaps today will be the last day I come here…” Irene breathed.

         At the sound of Irene’s voice, William held his breath. Did she give up on hoping to be recognised by him?

         Then, a soft sob filled the empty room. At the same time William realised that the sound had left from Irene’s lips.

“I thought that if I waited by looking at your back like this, you would one day turn around to face me.” Irene continued. Her voice travelled to the floor as she kept her head down.

         “...”

William remained silent. On the inside a large knot was beginning to form, the ties of complicated emotions rushing in to mess with his rationality. However, on the surface, trained as ever, he remained the stoic Great Kristen.

         “I thought that I was used to looking at someone who would never look back at me. I thought I just had to do what I always did… but I guess it does not work like that. It was hard and I was exhausted, but in the end, nothing changed. Still, I do not wish to give up…”  

         Unable to finish her sentence, tears began to flow again from Irene’s eyes. Even though she felt that she had long dried out her supply of tears from crying the night before. However, her sentience and grievance were conveyed.

         In fact, those words were not meant for the Great Kristen. Those words were in actuality, what Irene really wanted to say to someone else. 

         “...”

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