[TKOSINM] 226 - Don’t You Blame Me?

Will we arrive at the Friedan estate soon?

Holding her shoulders tightly, Noel turned his head to look out the window. The snow falling was heavy, as if welcoming them to the North.

Fortunately, they did not run into any thieves or monsters on the way, but the peace felt rather like the calm before the storm.

Capturing the gloomy world in his eyes, Noel’s eyes darkened.

I thought everything would be fine at that time...

But things were not as settling as he thought.

Noel let out a shaky breath. During his talk with Irene, a terrible memory came back to his mind.

Back when he reached the North after a long time, Tag was guarding the house alone, almost half-dead. Surprised, Noel diligently took care of him with utmost sincerity. Fortunately, Tag quickly regained consciousness. When Noel asked him where the rest of his companions had gone, Tag’s voice was filled with sobs.

The whole crew was captured by slave traders and taken away. At the time, it had already been a year since they were attacked and abducted. Contrary to the promise before they parted that everyone must escape and gather again there, only Tag escaped. 

There was no news from them. No one knew whether they were dead or alive.

Noel could not believe Tag’s words. He doubted his ears. All of it felt like a bad dream, a nightmare. However, Tag’s haggard state and the absence of his family members proved his words were true.

Then Noel assured Tag, who had shed tears profusely.

I will find them all.

As he said, Noel turned the Empire upside down by force to find the slaves, and over a long period, he gradually rescued them one by one.

But the more he saved them. The deeper Noel fell into a pit of remorse and despair. They were miserably victimised. They hardly looked humane when he got to them.

The last one was Louiselle.

Noel looked at Louiselle, who was riding right beside the carriage.

When he arrived at the battlefield where he had bought Louiselle, Louiselle had suffered from severe torture. Her back was carved into ugly hills with whip marks, and her face was all but sullen. He annihilated the battlefield to rescue Louiselle, but she had turned into an emotionless doll in the end. The memories of the childhood memories they spent together had long been pushed to the dark recesses of her mind.

As that horrendous time flashed across his mind, he thought it would be tough for them to get back to those old days, when they could laugh together comfortably once again.

It was a challenging time for Noel as well. Why couldn’t he find them sooner? Somehow, he felt compelled to have begged his father to take them along too. No, he should not have been an inch separated from them in the first place...He drowned in shame and guilt.

“Let’s take a break here for today, and as soon as the sun goes up tomorrow, we will head to Viscountess Friedan’s estate…Is your wife sleeping?”

As the carriage stopped, Dan came to report.

“Right, it’s about dinner time, so we’d better get something ready for the meal.”

“Yes. By the way, it’s quite pleasant to see this. Who would have thought that you have such a soft side?”

“What are you….”

As Dan grinned playfully, Noel parted his lips to say something but subsequently shut them when he noticed Dan’s gaze fell upon his shoulder.

“Anyway, it’s nice. If you are happy, I’m happy, too. I will go tell everyone to prepare for dinner….”

“...Don’t you blame me?”

“Pardon?”

Dan, who was about to leave the carriage, displayed a confused look at Noel’s unspecified question out of nowhere. Noel repeated.

“If I had found you a little sooner, no, if I hadn’t left your side in the first place, you guys wouldn’t have been in a rough situation. Aren’t you resentful of me?”

“Ah, I was wondering what you were talking about.”

Only then did Dan, who understood the meaning of his statement, respond with an awkward expression, implicating what he said was an absurdity.

“Who said that we resent you?”

“That’s not it.”

“So that means you are the only one who thinks so?”

“...”

Noel did not deny or refute his question. Dan sighed deeply at the sight.

Noel treated the Ram mercenaries well. Sometimes he treated them so well that he thought it went beyond goodwill or family love, but that was all due to guilt.

“If I had known Your Grace was thinking that way, I would not have followed you.”

“...”

“It’s a new thing to say, but Your Grace, none of us resent or hate you. Do you feel guilty because slave traders caught us in your absence? It was because we were a bunch of weaklings. It was not your fault. If you had been there, their targets would have been increased by one more.”