[TKOSINM] 21 - A Deserving Person

         At his unexpected remark, Irene lifted her head up. Instantly, olive eyes met hazel ones as Irene looked at Noel. The small arc of his lips on his handsome face and smooth skin made her heart flutter. Noel calmly smiled when he felt Irene glancing at him surprised.

         “As you know, my grandfather, Grand Duke of Kristen, was displeased with me. As his displeasure is well known in the mansion, and word of his disapproval of me had already spread far and wide, I was met with mocking gazes everywhere I went. Those who appeared amicable in front of me quietly laughed and gossiped behind my back. Those that chatted to me warmly would have disdain in their eyes, once they turned around. When my brother died, and I became the sole successor, the situation did change a little bit. I did receive some recognition, but still, it is currently an ongoing struggle. It is not much different from before. My grandfather does not, and refuses to, recognise me as the rightful successor.” Noel sighed, spilling out his feelings. In his words, Irene could sense the tinge of pain and longing, as well as a shy boy who only wanted to be recognised by his grandfather.

         “...Duke.” Irene raised her hand before hesitating midway and dropping it. She did not know how to comfort him. All she knew was that she wanted to help him.

         Noel’s calm and quiet composure made Irene feel even more sorry towards him. One could tell from his story that the young Noel was pitiful.

         Although Irene had not seen nor experienced any of his struggles herself, for some reason, she knew how it must have felt to be in his shoes. Both their obstacles were different. The challenges that they had to face and overcome were on different scales and in different worlds. However, the same feelings of desperation, loneliness and sadness were universal. The longing of wanting to belong made Irene no different from him.

         Noel comfortably leaned his back against the chair and turned his head towards the terrace. Irene’s room was located on the third floor, with a view of the Chase garden from the grand windows. The splendour of the tuberoses and multiflora roses arranged neatly in their trimmed bushes could be seen from above. The small white petals would occasionally be swept up from a strong gust of wind and blown about wildly in the air before softly floating towards the ground. In fact, the sides of the walkways, where the gardeners would sweep the petals to, were littered in dots of pale yellow and white.

         “This room is nice. It’s comfortable, and you can see the views outside.” He stated.

         Irene nodded. Then, she cautiously asked, “Duke, how did you endure it? How could you live in such a place like that? I would not be able to….”

         Irene was not sure what she looked like at the moment. She hesitated because her bloodshot eyes and tears from before made her appearance look like a carriage wreck. She also was not sure how to approach the topic. However, before she managed to open her mouth again and tell him to forget her question, Noel glanced slowly at her and replied. 

         “I endured it. For many reasons.” His deep hazel eyes glinted in the afternoon sun, and she could see her reflection in his eyes.

“...”

Irene’s heart fluttered. 

         “Because all I could do was endure. One day, I knew that it would get better. I knew that perhaps I would wake up one day, and I would have it. Everyone would acknowledge me. I knew that it was not just vain hope, even if it seemed like it. No matter how hard I worked, I hoped that something would change, even though nothing did. Is that not the same reason as to why you chased after me? To run away with me?”

         Noel’s deep brown eyes caught the look of surprise that crossed Irene’s face. His stare made her heartbeat slightly faster than usual. She turned her head to the side to avoid him and cool the heat surfacing in her neck. It was not because she found him attractive, although he was, she felt embarrassed because he was right. From the moment Irene had realised how unfair the situation she was in was, she could no longer breathe in this house. Every step she took, every interaction she made, suffocated her. Irene wanted to get out of the Chase mansion as soon as possible; she wanted to strip away any associations of the people living here with her name. And, to achieve that, she needed Noel to make her dreams become possible.

         Noel just smiled softly when Irene felt stumped, unable to say anything.

         “Irene, I am not saying that it would be horrific for you to use me… in fact, I am going to use you too. Let’s make an agreement.”

         “Yes? What do you mean by that?”

         Irene’s eyes widened as she tried to comprehend the meaning behind Noel’s words. She could not believe him and what he was suggesting. Irene wanted to ask to confirm what she thought, but she was afraid that she would be wrong, and her hopes would be shattered.

         When Noel stared at Irene, who was so nervous that the hands she rested in her lap were trembling, he saw in her hope and fear. When she hesitated to talk, Noel opened his mouth to clarify.

         “I know of your circumstances, and I do not think that you are trying to deceive me. That is why I will help you to leave this house, and in return, you will help me until I can inherit the dukedom.”

         “...Duke.”

         When Irene called him, Noel quietly laughed and spoke.

         “Call me Noel. Now you and I are on the same boat.”

         Irene’s eyes wavered at his words. She carefully opened her lips, as if to test the name she had been allowed to call before voicing it out.

         “...Noel.”

         “May I also call you by your name?”

         Irene nodded at Noel’s question. Noel smiled at the charming and quiet girl before him. 

         “Irene.” He spoke. The name rolled off his tongue smoothly as if he had been wanting to say it all along.

         “...”

         There were not many opportunities to hear her name be called, other than by her parents. Therefore, it was a strange but warm experience to hear Noel call her name. Especially in his deep baritone, and so tenderly. When Irene looked at him, somewhat mystified, Noel had a soft expression on his face. 

         “You need to be a little more confident.” He said gently.

         “...”

         “Because you are a deserving person.”

♔♔♔

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