[TIDK] 126 – Why Can’t I Forgive?

As Scarlett cradled her throbbing head, the effects of the alcohol still lingering, Viktor entered the bedroom. Concern etched across his face, he observed, "I don't think you're fully sober yet."

"It was strong..." Scarlett replied, her words slightly slurred.

Attempting to stand, Scarlett wavered unsteadily, prompting Viktor to encircle her waist with his arm swiftly. Startled, she accidentally pushed against him, causing Viktor to chuckle softly. "You asked for my help," he reminded her.

Peering at him through bleary eyes, Scarlett managed a smile. "Thank you for today. I'll be alright." With those words, she gently disentangled herself from Viktor's embrace.

Viktor's lips parted, preparing to share some crucial information. "Before you go, there's something you need to know."

Curiosity piqued, Scarlett inquired, "What is it?"

Viktor motioned for Scarlett to join him by the window, prompting her to walk over and peer outside. As she took in the sight before her, she stood frozen in shock. Below the mansion, two individuals she recognised, along with a member of the Navy, were bound and kneeling.

"Spies from Vestina," Viktor explained grimly. "They kept infiltrating like relentless weeds. I was too preoccupied to notice the presence of the Royal Police lurking nearby."

Scarlett remained silent, her head spinning, as she clutched the window frame for support. The reality of war was now undeniably looming.

Turning to face Viktor, Scarlett's voice quivered as she asked, "So... why have you been kind to me?"

Confusion flickered across Viktor's face. "What do you mean?"

"Is it because you need me? Because I'm necessary to make things possible? Is that why you've been treating me kindly?"

Viktor's response came without hesitation. "All I wanted was for you to return to Dumfelt."

"That's it?" Scarlett pressed, her voice filled with both scepticism and hope.

"That's all," Viktor confirmed, his gaze steady.

As Scarlett leaned out of the window, her body slipped, and she tumbled downward. Reacting swiftly, he signalled something outside before closing the window. Taking a deep breath, Scarlett’s gaze filled with a mix of anger and gratitude. "Right now, I despise you so much, and yet I'm grateful to you," she confessed.

"Thank you?" Viktor responded; his tone laced with uncertainty.

"I... I've shattered your lifelong aspirations," Scarlett continued, her voice trembling. "And yet, you still want me back?"

"I want you back," Viktor affirmed without hesitation.

The weight of Scarlett's guilt hung heavy in the air as she questioned, "Can you forgive me?"

"I already have," Viktor replied, drawing Scarlett closer. "It's you who struggles to forgive."

His words struck a chord within her.

Scarlett couldn't erase the memories of the days she spent waiting for him at the monastery. The bitter cold was nothing compared to the self-blame she endured for believing he didn't love her. Night after night, she leaned against the frigid walls, consumed by thoughts of him waiting. If only he had reciprocated her love, she wouldn't have found herself in that desolate place.

It became a relentless cycle of hating him and then hating herself for harbouring such animosity.

Speaking to herself, Scarlett voiced her inner turmoil, "I don't understand. Why can't I forgive you?"

Gradually, Scarlett felt her calmness returning, but an unfamiliar surge of resentment welled up from within her. Viktor responded; his voice burdened with weight. "I want you to understand that I did send you to the monastery back then, but I never intended for you to end up in such a place. I thought it would be a refuge where attendants would take care of everything, just like where my mother resides."

"As it was back then..." Scarlett murmured, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

"Indeed," Viktor acknowledged.

As Scarlett broached the topic of the interrogation, Viktor's fingertips trembled slightly in response to her distress. Unaware of her own words, Scarlett spoke out. "I was gone for a whole week. You could have come to find me earlier... before the news article was published."

"That was an incredibly busy time," Viktor explained. "You know there was a tremendous amount of work to attend to."

"I understand that, but it still feels oddly unsettling," Scarlett expressed, her frustration evident.

"Why are you angry?" Viktor inquired.

Scarlett's gaze met his, filled with unspoken longing. "You see, if you had come to see me then, I might have been able to remember what happened that day..."

A wave of resignation washed over her as she recollected Viktor's disbelief in her claims of amnesia. Shaking her head, she continued, "...But no."

Looking directly at Viktor, Scarlett declared, "Regardless, I must go."

"I have prepared breakfast. Eat before you leave," Viktor offered.

"Already?" Scarlett questioned.

"Your staff is here; he has already started eating," Viktor informed her.