[IYFILWATIP] Chapter 53

"It's classified. And didn't you say you wouldn't be curious?"  "No, at this point, I take that back. I want to know. What could be so desperate for you? You've already got everything—money, power. Do you have to pass some kind of test in the Navimi Forest to become the emperor?"   

Kirona snatched the frog Jade was holding and began eating it as she changed the subject.   "Don't you have something you're desperate for?"   

Jade leaned against a tree with his sword in his arms, staring intently at Kirona. A contemplative look settled over his straight eyebrows. Kirona habitually appraised his face, noting how handsome he was. If his family hadn't fallen, he probably would have made a good marriage. But being a mercenary, his striking looks were hardly an advantage. What good is it for a mercenary to stand out? It only increases the chances of getting killed. But things might be different if he went to the capital. 

Just as Kirona was considering recruiting him again, Jade responded.   "I don't have anything like that."   "I thought you'd say 'money,' considering you'd sell your life for it."   "Paying off a debt isn't exactly a life goal. It's something I do because I have to."   "Then your goal must be to gain freedom. Is there nothing you want to do when that happens?"   "Nothing."   

This time, he answered without hesitation. It was a strange answer. Kirona was shocked by his indifferent response, devoid of dreams or hope. Kirona had an endless list of things she wanted to do. If she started writing them all down, she could fill several books. 

If only she could keep living. 

"Now that I think about it, paying off the debt might actually be my life goal. Ever since I was old enough to understand, I’ve been focused on seeing that number go down. Once it’s done—though I'll probably die before that happens—I won't have anything to do. There's nowhere to return to. That’s why I don’t have any plans."   

Even as he said this, Jade’s expression didn’t change. He spoke as if it were the most natural thing in the world.   "I don't really want to live. It would be nice to die peacefully. That might be a bit of a luxury for a mercenary."   

Sure, what might be desperate for me might not be for others. Everyone’s different. Some live with desperate urgency, clinging to life, while others drift through it indifferently.   

Kirona understood this intellectually, but it was hard to accept emotionally. Whenever she encountered people like that, she wanted to grab them by the collar and yell that she wished they could swap bodies with her. 

"I'm different from you. There's something I'm desperate for. Just because I'm royalty doesn't mean I have everything."   "......"   "And you might find something you're desperate for too, once you're free. Just because you're tied down by your debt now doesn't mean you won't find something later."   

Kirona expected Jade to scoff at her words, and sure enough, he did.   "And you're going to make that happen?"   "Well, you know I'm a princess now."   "I don’t believe in what people in high places say. I’ve seen too many people follow promises like that, only to end up with their heads cut off."   "Hey! Are you saying you think the princess is a con artist?"   "If you’re done eating, let’s go, Your Highness. Since we came from the south, we’ll check the perimeter from here in three directions."   

Ignoring Kirona's words, Jade got up. Kirona glared at him, following closely behind. 

But within just a few hours, they had to return to their starting point, holding nothing but shattered hopes. They had discovered only one thing:   East: Failure.   West: Failure.   

"That damn snake..."   

Jade threw down his sword, grinding his teeth. If the north turned out to be blocked too, they would have no choice but to admit the truth: they were completely trapped in this forest, with no peaceful way out.  

 "We need to head north."   

"And if there's no exit there either?"   "Then we have three options: wait to become snake food, find a good hiding spot and wait for the forest to reopen, or kill the snake."   "How long do we have to wait for the forest to reopen?"   

"Nobody knows."  

 "Then I’ll pray that there’s an exit. Really hard."   

As they walked, they came upon a lake. The black water, tangled with vines, filled the ground suspiciously. Fortunately, the water wasn’t too deep, only reaching up to their knees, so they could cross it. Their feet would get dirty, though. Kirona began taking off her boots, preparing to step onto the rocks. 

At that moment, Jade, who was ahead, suddenly turned back and let out a deep sigh. He quickly offered his back to Kirona.   

"Get on."   

"......"   

"Get on, I said!"