If one’s expectations were high, so would be the disappointment, thus it was better to reject him quickly. It wasn’t her fault she hadn’t shaken him off sooner, and it wasn’t wrong for a man to love another man.
“Go ahead.”
Yunhu touched his red nose, looked around, and then, as if he had made up his mind, pulled her to a secluded backyard. She could hear his throat swallowing loudly.
He must be nervous, facing a situation that could get him banished from the village. He might even have to sever ties with his family.
Suppressing the fear of the rumour spreading, Yunhu gathered his courage, which was admirable yet pitiable. How did he come to harbour feelings for a man?
“Beodeul.”
He closed his eyes, trembling slightly. She leaned against the mud wall and spoke low.
“I’ve cherished you for a long time.”
Such a precise confession. As she was about to pour out her prepared rejection.
“Your secret, I’ll keep it for life.”
“Secret?”
“I’ve known for two months that you’re a woman. But don’t worry. I haven’t told anyone, nor do I plan to.”
The wind that had been blowing through her hair abruptly stopped. What did he just say?
“Say that again.”
“That day, I saw you wearing a skirt…”
“You must have seen something else.”
“Uh?”
Taken aback by her fierce look, Yunhu stumbled backward, but his eyes were more than half convinced. He stammered for a bit, then recounted details of that day she couldn’t even remember herself, down to the colour of her skirt and her trivial actions, and her world turned white.
“I saw you passing by the fabric store with your mother.”
If it was the fabric store, it was her brother’s death anniversary. It had been raining that day. She remembered following with her eyes a young girl running with a yellow cloth.
“I wanted to greet you out of happiness, but then you went inside your house.”
After that, Yunhu seemed unable to continue. His face was redder than before.
“I swear! I didn’t mean to look. I was just wondering whether to go and say hello or not.”
Beodeul closed her eyes tightly. The girl who had been excited at the thought of wearing her newly tailored skirt and had run off. That insignificant scene somehow refused to fade from her mind, so much so that once, when her mother was busy preparing dinner, she had secretly put on her mother’s skirt and sneaked outside.
She felt liberated from her chest that always had to be tightly wrapped, and the hem of the skirt wrapped around her body made her heart flutter. She had done it because she wanted to walk even just in the front yard, rather than in the cramped room. And Yunhu, that guy, had seen her.
“You don’t need to hide it from me. There have been a few people in the past who had to hide their identities and stay in Muritmaegol for various reasons. But I truly have no intention of revealing your secret to anyone, Beodeul.”
── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✦ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──
The rapid-fire murmuring had not been heard for a long time.
Two months. It had been two months since they had noticed her true identity. She had been caught without excuse. Knowing that she was a woman, he had blushed every time he saw her, embracing the knowledge fondly. Even when his own family had barely enough to eat, he had taken care to provide for her.
“You promised.”
“Yes, Beodeul.”
“If you carelessly chatter about this.”
She decided it would be quicker to acknowledge the situation and silence him than to argue more vehemently.
She did not continue her sentence. Yet, to reassure her, Yunhu had a solemn expression on his face.
“Go now. It’s about time for your mother to come.”
“Yes, you don’t have to answer right away.”
She left Yunhu behind and rushed out of the place.
It was ridiculous. She had hidden herself for a whole year, and to be found out so futilely?
She had pretended to be calm, but it was a serious matter with her life at stake.
Should she tell her mother? Even if she spoke up now, she couldn’t leave Muritmaegol until the travel permit was issued, and since Yunhu had promised to keep his mouth shut, she would wait and not worry her mother for now.
As she was about to turn the corner and head to the kitchen, her steps halted. She couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Young master?”
Beyond the corner, he stood still, leaning his palm against the wall. His cold eyes dropped to her head, then slowly slid towards Yunhu, who was running away.
“Did you leave something behind?”
Could he have heard everything?
“There’s something missing from the Sahu*.”
*Four Friends.
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