[IYFILWATIP] Chapter 29

"It's a panacea. If I find it, everything will be solved."

"Have you ever seen anyone who actually found it?" 

"It's mentioned in ancient records. They say it only blooms in the Eastern Monster Territory." 

"That was 500 years ago! What you're planning to do now is no different from reading a fairy tale and then setting out with a wooden sword to slay a dragon like the hero." 

Pine fired back, clearly exasperated by Kirona's response. 

"I'm not going because I'm certain I'll find the flower. There are various treatments there that aren't available in the capital..." 

"Yeah, sure. Because it's crawling with quack healers and crazy mages. They might help, but who knows! And even if the flower is there, the band of idiots you're taking with you won't find it." 

"I'm not just taking prisoners. I'll hire additional mercenaries in the east." 

"What's the difference between mercenaries and prisoners? You should ask Mother. Have her send the elite knights to the east to find Nardalin’s Flower. This is ridiculous." 

Kirona laughed. Pine was certainly smart, but still just a child. This child couldn’t even imagine that the Emperor might be willing to abandon Kirona. Silently, Kirona pointed to the newborn baby in Asil's arms. The message was clear: now that a child who could replace her had been born, it didn't matter anymore. 

"No way..." 

Pine's expression hardened, his trembling lips showing his shock. 

"I didn't know... I just brought the baby to introduce her to you. To give you a chance to see her..." 

"It's okay. I wanted to meet her too." 

Kirona gestured for Asil to come over. Despite his suspicious look, Asil quickly obeyed. 

The baby, wrapped in swaddling clothes, was still crying softly. Kirona carefully reached out to the youngest sibling who just couldn't stop crying. 

The baby's skin was as soft as pudding. A mix of sweet milk and buttery bread scent tickled her nose. 

In truth, Kirona had avoided going near the room where the newborns were kept. She feared that seeing the Emperor holding the baby with such a warm smile, as if she had the whole world, would make her collapse on the spot. 

She was afraid she might end up hating and envying this tiny child, and that she would feel disgusted with herself for harboring such ugly feelings. 

Kirona took the baby into her arms. Strangely enough, the baby stopped crying and let out a cheerful laugh when she saw Kirona's face. 

"She's adorable." 

It was a relief. It seemed the illness hadn't eaten away at her humanity entirely. What filled her heart as she looked at the baby was a simple, pure emotion. The baby was astonishingly small, cute, and beautiful. Kirona pressed her nose to the baby's soft hair and asked, 

"Why did you only bring your sister? Aren't they twins?" 

"I don't like boys. They're as smart as goblins. Loud, annoying, ignorant, yet arrogant and stubborn. They screech with that pig-like voice, insisting they're always right. If we had to have siblings, it would’ve been better if we had two sisters instead." 

Asil answered in place of the now speechless Pine. Kirona chuckled at her sharp words and asked again, 

"Have you named her?" 

"Selena." 

This time, both Pine and Asil answered simultaneously. Kirona gazed quietly at the baby, praying silently in her heart. 

May you be healthy, may you never suffer like me. May you run freely across the fields without worry. I wasn't exactly thrilled about your existence, and at times I couldn't stand the thought of you... But isn't it strange? Now that I see you, I can't be angry. 

Maybe it's because you’re lovable just as you are. Every baby in the world is innocent, no matter where, how, or why they're born... 

I wonder if I was like this to the Emperor, once upon a time. 

Kirona shook her head to clear the thoughts away. She handed the baby back to her siblings, retrieved leather gloves from the bag on her saddle, put them on, and took Molly’s reins. 

"I'm leaving now." 

Even after getting on her horse, Kirona hesitated. She wanted to say something to Pine before she left, but the words wouldn't come. She couldn't offer meaningless reassurances like "Don't worry," nor could she deceive such a smart child by telling her that everything would be fine. 

In the end, she simply turned away and spurred her horse forward. Molly let out a long whinny as she bolted down the dirt road. 

The scenery blurred past at an increasing speed, and her heart felt lighter. Kirona realised that she had been trapped in a cage without bars for far too long. 

As the wind brushed past her, she heard Pine's voice, carried faintly on the breeze. 

"Kirona, good luck! You've drawn the red sparrow!" 

...A horse running through a storm does not fear the wind, and a fish trapped in a raging current does not fear the waves. Child who drew the red sparrow, the whole world rests upon you. 

Would Theresia heed the prayer of a not-so-devout believer? But isn’t the god supposed to love all beings? If demons are allowed to recite verses from the scripture, the same should apply to a human destined to die. 

As fresh air filled her lungs, blood coursed through her fingers, and her heart raced. Ah, I'm alive. I’m still alive. Now I can finally feel it so vividly. Kirona urged Molly forward once more. 

I know what my death will look like. 

So nothing will be able to frighten me. 

No one in this world can die twice.