[IYFILWATIP] Chapter 13

It felt unfair. How could she accept the sudden turn of events? Just a year ago, the swordsmanship instructor said that Kirona had the potential to become a great knight. Kirona instinctively knew how to use her body, and she could swiftly and lightly overpower knights who were twice her size, even those with bulging muscles.

The emperor, who had a natural disposition for civil affairs, was pleased with Kirona’s martial aptitude. He believed that fresh blood would be infused into the empire. Despite his busy schedule, he took time to observe Kirona’s lessons in imperial studies. After each lesson, he would always pat Kirona with a satisfied smile. 

‘We need to appoint you as the crown prince soon. When you come of age, you could lead expeditions to subjugate monsters. Unlike me, you have military talent, so you will not only take care of the empire from within but also expand its reach far beyond.’ 

But the wings were clipped, and the dream shattered like dust. 

“...You never know when you might have a fever! Every time that happens, your body will weaken more and more...” 

“...” 

“I don’t want this either. I know how bright Your Highness was, how many things you wanted to do... I can’t believe it.” 

Marie shouted and then bowed her head. Kirona had nothing to say. Marie was right. 

Good health was the most important quality a crown prince must have. Kirona no longer possessed that. No matter how much she cultivated other qualities, it would be of no use. 

Yes, it was inevitable. No one expects anything from a corpse. Before death, everything loses its meaning. 

Kirona let the sword she was holding slip weakly from her grasp. 

“Right, if a sudden fever comes, and you fall off your horse, it would be problematic. Everyone would see it. If word got out that the empire’s first princess had contracted Tetra fever, it would cause a scandal in high society. It would be a real headache.” 

“...Your Highness.” 

“I know, Marie. I know what you’re saying.” 

“...” 

“But please... don’t treat me like a corpse. I’m still alive.” 

Not yet, not yet. 

Kirona covered her face with both hands, swallowing the words she couldn’t bring herself to say. 

***

At fifteen years old, a different guest came instead of the fever. 

It was the monthly visitor. 

When she woke up in the morning, the bed sheets were soaked in blood. Kirona stared blankly at the blood pooling beneath her, thinking that perhaps her time to die had finally come. It took her a while to realise that it was her period. 

She hadn’t expected her first menstruation. 

There hadn’t been any blood until she reached this age. But neither the royal physician Emma nor Kirona herself found it strange. They believed that the disease ravaging her body had also devoured her reproductive capabilities. 

Kirona had even forgotten that she had ovaries. 

But what in the world was this...? 

“Princess.” 

There was a soft knock at the door. Then came a male voice. Marie had mentioned in passing that the attendants’ morning shifts would change. Kirona, startled as if she had been burned, frantically pulled the bed sheets over herself. 

She should have shouted for him not to come in, but she was so choked with emotion that she couldn’t speak. 

“Princess? Are you all right?” 

“Don’t come in!” 

The attendant, who had already opened the door, was startled by the smell of blood in the air and ignored Kirona’s shout, stepping into the room. He probably thought Kirona had hurt herself. In the three years of her illness, Kirona had lost all her composure, and it was common for her to throw a tantrum out of the blue. 

“Your Highness...” 

The strength drained from her hands. Kirona dropped the blanket and collapsed to the floor. A wave of shame choked her. It wasn’t the embarrassment of showing a bodily function to someone of the opposite sex her age. This wretchedness couldn’t have stemmed from such a simple emotion. 

“I will go fetch Marie.” 

“Don’t!” 

Some insects, just before they die, lay eggs they have been carrying inside. They say it’s a survival instinct to continue the species. Isn’t that a pathetic behaviour? Trying to reproduce while unable to protect oneself. It was both laughable and disgusting.

…Before she got sick, she thought so easily. 

The attendant slowly approached Kirona. When the shame reached its limit, it turned into anger. Kirona grabbed the sword she had left by her side and, trembling all over, shouted, 

“Don’t tell anyone! If you do, I’ll kill you!” 

But the attendant didn’t retreat. With a calm expression, he removed the bed sheets and brought a bucket of water. Kirona drew the sword from its scabbard and pointed it at him. 

“Aren’t you going to leave? Get out! Get out!” 

It didn’t have much effect. The attendant showed no sign of fear. Instead, he firmly grabbed Kirona’s wrist and made her lower the sword. Offering her freshly laundered clothes with a calm face, he asked, 

“Why are you doing this?” 

“...”